There’s nothing like a sidewalk traffic jam to reinforce my sad realization that humans are far from civilized or evolved. We are rather dense, like an unopened jar of pickles (with arms and legs), when it comes to matters of foot travel.

Sidewalk: Noun; Usually concrete path along the side of a street for people to walk on.

In Toronto, sidewalks are for walking (as far as I know), not texting, or cycling, or standing around smoking cigarettes, or licking your ice-cream cones in front of Sweet Jesus on Queen Street. I feel intense anger when trapped behind two oversized baby strollers, strolling side by side at a leisurely pace, clogging the whole sidewalk.

Are you legit?  

Not all pedestrians are created equal, but the majority of you are sidewalk sinners in my pedestrian police officer eyes. Here’s a tip: No matter what your walking speed is, stay to the right of the sidewalk and keep the left lane open for passing. It’s just like driving! I can’t tell you how many imaginary boxing matches I’ve had with the left-laners.

Toronto pedestrian probs. They kinda make me nostalgic for Port Hope road rage.