Ivan and I have been living together quite literally 24/seven for the past four-and-a-half years. We co-exist harmoniously, mostly, and speak in eye language, typically, but on rare occasions (about 15 or 20 times a day), I feel it’s necessary to punctuate my thoughts (and probably his, too) with spoken words. Here’s a typical week in convo with my dog:

  • “Don’t be mad at me.” (When I Ieave)
  • “I wish that you would stop making me feel guilty about things.” (When I work – at home)
  • “I love you, but I only love you when you’re quiet.” (When he barks out the window)
  • “Why do you have to be all in my face?” (When he’s all in my face)
  • “I don’t know what to say to you except I’m a single mom.” (When he’s all in my face)
  • “Get a drink of water if you’re going to act so hot.” (When he begs for food and breathes down my neck)
  • “I could be at an office right now making a lot more money.” (When he barks out the window – again)
  • “If you bark I’m going out.” (When he barks out the window – again)
  • “I’m calling the Humane Society.” (When he barks out the window – again).
  • “All you care about is looking out the window.” (When he refuses to kiss me)
  • “I’m trying to be interesting.” (When cooking and laundry activities fail to impress)
  • “Why do you have to be so needy?” (When I need a moment to myself).
  • “Listen, I don’t always want to kiss you either.” (When he refuses to kiss me)

As I continue to add to my list, I’d love to hear about the convos you have with your dog on a daily basis (especially if you both work from home and get on each others nerves once in a while, like us).